Big Scot has been keeping the riff raff out of our bars and clubs for the last 20 years [applause]. He is absolutely an East Village legend, and absolutely not to be fucked with. He’s also a gentle giant, a writer, and an artist and musician in the tradition of what made the East Village hot in the first place. He may even be a murderer, but probably not. His storytelling can best be described as stream-of-consciousness. At any rate, he’s been around, seen a lot, done more, and luckily is a great friend of EVB because he’s naming names.

Weston: Pot, Ketel One - ready to go?

Big Scot: Yeah.

How about a background track for the readers. Name your tune.

Slayer, “Seasons in the Abyss”.

I think I’ve seen you maybe once without a metal t-shirt. What’s the Holy Trinity of metal?

Blood, sweat, and love.

I meant the bands.

The best live, Slayer. Black Label Society (BLS), and Queens of the Stone Age.
[since publishing this article Scot has sobered up and wants to change his original answer to Slayer, Black Sabbath and Judas Priest. What the hell was he thinking with Queens of the Stone Age?]

Surprised about that last one, but those are the three must-haves for EV boys that don’t know anything about metal?

Yeah.

Lets start with your public door-whore persona.

I am not a whore [laughs].

What doors have you whored before your current gig at Eastern Bloc, in the East Village (of course)?

What doors have I not whored should be your question. OK here we go. Limelight, Pyramid…

Limelight during the Michael Alig days?

This was before Michael Alig, but I used to sneak him in when he was, um, 19. I HELPED PROMOTE A MURDERER!

Did you help with the murder?

[pause]

OK, next question…

[laughs] No, I didn’t help with the murder, but I did know Angel.

Back to the doors.

Limelight, Pyramid, Boy Bar, The World, Mars, Sound Factory, Sound Factory Bar, Twilo, Barracuda [vomit noises, more vomit noises], The Cock.

I heard [redacted] waters down their drinks.

Yes, I believe they do. The first time I had a drink in there I was like this motherfucking Jack is fucking watered down you motherfucking bitch. I can’t stand those fucking assholes. One of them wanted to look at my paintings and I was like, “I would never sell you a painting, bitch. Even if you wanted the million dollar one” [laughs]. Can I finish my doors? OK, The Cock, The Park and now Eastern Bloc.

Speaking of Eastern Bloc, I’ve seen you turn away legions of hot boys. What the hell?

They didn’t have ID.

And? I have seen fake IDs handed to you. Not good enough?

[laughs] No.

Give us some dirt on the Eastern Bloc staff - but be nice it’s our favorite bar.

I don’t really have any dirt on any of them. They’re all friends of mine, we all get along and they’re great to work for. And all those clubs I listed - this is the first time I haven’t worked for a cokehead owner. The first one! I was like, wow, after 20 years of doing this, this is the first place with no cokehead owners.

We’re going to get sued.

No, I’m telling you the truth. They’re nice guys at Eastern Bloc and I really like everyone there. It’s small and it’s - oh we had one employee that was kind of funny - he used to do happy hour and used to play Tori Amos. You’d walk in and think “lets’s do some heroin and slit our wrists”. But he’s gone now.

Who was the last guy you threw out at Eastern Bloc?

Oh that was this guy last Friday. They called me in and the dancer comes over, “I need help, I need help, there are people on the stripper pole!” So I go over and I tell this one chick to get down, she gets down, and then there’s this big fucking guy, and he was screaming “HALLELUJAH JESUS! JESUS! AMERICA! AMERICA!”, and I said dude, you can’t be touching the pole while the go-go boy is trying to dance, so he looks at me, gives me this dirty look, and he takes his hand off the pole, and I go back to the door, and turn around, and his hand is back on the fucking pole, and I’m like dude, you can’t put your fucking hand on the pole, and he says “but I have to! If I don’t I’ll fall over!”, and I said I think its time for you to go and he gives me this look and says “try to throw me out”, and tries to stare me down, and he was a big fucker, and I was like ok bitch are you ready to go - I’m not in the mood, but then I suggested “you know, you’re fucked up, you need to get some air, lets go outside”. So we go outside and he’s like “thank you, I love you! Thank you for being so understanding” and waddled down the street home.

So when we hang out at the door with you, I love watching all the straight boys walk by all sly to check the place out, and then circle back and come in… or am I imagining things?

No, you’re not. Somehow my body odor attracts them. If you’re good looking, mental, and confused about your sexuality, then you’re in love with me. And I’m in love with you.

Um…

They come to ME! you’ve seen them, right?

I’ve seen it, I’ve seen it. They probably think you’re the guy from Harry Potter.

HAHAHA! Hagrid?

Yeah, exactly! What’s it like working with Daniel Radcliffe anyway?

Who’s Daniel Radcliffe?

Um… so the East Village has changed a lot over the last twenty years. What was it like when you first started doing doors in the neighborhood?

When I used to work at Pyramid on Avenue A, I had a big red bong underneath my chair, and when my friends showed up we’d take bong hits. That’s how cool it was back in the day. People would bring me beer… people were afraid… Avenue A was “alright”, Avenue B was “Beware”, Avenue C was “crazy” and Avenue D was “dead”. Now you walk down Avenue B and there are people with baby strollers. I miss when it was bombed-out buildings and junkies - it was like zombie land. I lived on 8th Street between B and C at one point - because I was between beware and craziness.

What’s the craziest shit you’ve seen in the last 20 years. I want names.

Ok this one will be gossipy. One time, this gossip columnist from [redacted] - I was working at The World, and they had this one section in the middle of the place called the “It Club”, and the staff would always go in there because we knew the beer cases were open and we could go in there and get beer, so my buddy and I were in there drinking a beer, and we see [redacted] over in the corner with some young guy with his pants down, and he was trying to get the guy hard but he couldn’t get hard because he was so fucked up, but he’s still sucking on his dick [sucking sounds], so we crouched down and he hears us giggling, so he stops and looks around - and then [sucking sounds].

I don’t think we should print that.

You don’t have to say who it is, just say “gossip columnist”.

I have funny fuck story. This guy shows up at Boy Bar, and he’s like “can I come in?”, and the other doorman told him (more…)

EVB has never before had to issue an apology, but apologies in advance for the multiple equestrian references you’re about to endure.

Riding into town on their super-hung stallion James and Jim from London’s Horsemeat Disco bring their wonderful nosebag of disco delights to Club 205 on Tuesday night.

This will be the boys’ final gig in NYC (they were support DJs for Hercules and Love Affair on Saturday night at Studio B) before jumping back into the saddle and galloping (or should that be cantering) back to London.

Here at the EVB stud ranch we are all waxing our chaps and slipping on our stirrups for a right royal hoedown.

Come join us and the wonderful Horsemeat boys tomorrow night, May 20 at Club 205, 205 Chrystie St (at Stanton), NYC. If you bring a sugar lump, wear a rosette and impersonate a horny stallion at the door, who knows what might happen…

London’s Horse Meat Disco is dedicated, simply, to “the industry of human happiness”. It’s the queer party for everyone - homos and heteros, club kids, bears, fashionistas, naturists, guerilla drag queens and ladies who munch. Musically it’s a disco behemoth of classics, Italo-disco, oddities and punk funk, spun in the friendliest venue south of the river (the Thames that is). East Village Boys caught up with one of the co-founders, and resident DJ, James Hillard and milked him for a few answers and an incredible mix.

Richard: Hi James, how’s it going?

James: Very well, thank you. The weather is being vile so I’ve pulled down the blinds, put the mirror ball on and I’m dancing around the living room in my pyjamas listening to Voyage… It’s 3:00 in the afternoon!

R: Please introduce us to the HMD team?

J: That would be myself and Jim Stanton. Hiya!

R: What did you do today?

J: I did the mix you can hear on your website, and drank a shed load of coffee.

R: What’s the Horse Meat Disco story?

J: Horse Meat started back in 2004. It rose from the ashes of a previous party. We just wanted to do a gay party where music was crucial, and one that drew on various tribes to make the crowd more interesting. The gay scene in London had become so stale and commercial. We just wanted to shake things up a bit… and play music we loved. All at the behest of Adam Goldstone. A resident of your parts until he sadly passed away a couple of years ago. He was the one who got me and Jim together to throw parties in the first place. I miss him.

R: Where did the name come from?

J: I was cleaning the flat one day and went to chuck out a pile of newspapers, and one of the headlines was “horse meat discovered in salami” although it was partially covered to reveal “horse meat disco”. I thought it was a genius name, Jim agreed and the rest is history.

R: Who designed your wonderful logo?

J: Adrian Fillary does all our artwork and he is a genius. He always gets it spot on and the logo is proof of that.

R: Who are your resident djs?

J: Myself, Jim Stanton who I co-promote with, Severino who hails from Mantova in Italy, really is one of the most underrated DJs in London - I’m always in awe - and Luke Howard AKA Filthly Luka. He’s currently sojourning in Rio De Janiero and we miss him so much. Luckily he sold me a load of his records before he left so his music lives on… even if that makes me a toon teef.

R: Speaking of music, what’s the HMD music policy?

J: Disco across the spectrum and in all its metronomic glory.

R: Many gay clubs are simply about the chase or cruise but HMD feels more like a social. There is a very friendly atmosphere there. How do you make it happen?

J: I think the music first and foremost, plus mine and Jim’s ability to reach across the tribal divisions in gay clubbing and bring together a great mix of people, gay and straight, who love the music. Being on a Sunday and in a South London boozer helps too.

R: What is the wildest thing you have seen at the club?

J: We did a Mexico inspired party after I visited there a few years ago. We got some piñatas and filled them with bottles of poppers. Didn’t think for a second that when people began to whack the piñata the vials would break. Needless to say they did, and for a while the dancefloor (including myself who was djing at the time) seemed to fall in on itself. The place smelled like a swimming pool for a week!

R: Does it often get out of control? Have you ever had to throw anyone out?

J: I can’t think of any club that hasn’t thrown someone out at some point, but bad attitude and blatent drug taking would do it.

R: At the club you often have some amazing performance artists - which have been your favorites.

J: It’s not so much the case that we plan anything they just come down. Our resident naked guy Ernesto is a poet and performer. He’s lovely and always raises a smile to the uninitiated. We miss Booby Tuesday who moved back to New Zealand earlier this year. She ruled the roost as far as I was concerned. Also the gang from the NYC Downlow our traveling gay club that we did at Glastonbury last year. Too numerous to mention but off the top of my head, Le Gateaux Chocolat, Jonny Woo, Janette, and Holestar were my favourites, and always bring the party when they’re down at Horse Meat Disco.

R: Last year you did a tent at Glastonbury - are you the first gay club to host a tent there? What was it like?

J: We were indeed the first gay space at a UK festival. It was amazing! For me it was even more special as it’s my home village, so coming back and doing what we did had special resonance. The concept came from our friend and regular down at the club, Giddeon Berger, who is an amazing set designer. His idea was to recreate a bombed-out New York tenement terrace with a gay club down a back alley. The effect was incredible, populated with crazy trannies and leather men. It looked like a cross between the film Cruising and Priscilla Queen of the Desert in knee-deep mud. I can honestly say that it was the best week of my life!

R: Who are your fave djs and who would you most like to have perform at the club?

J: I’d have to say Daniele Baldelli. The man is a legend both technically and musically. He’s always an inspiration. When he plays at the club I lose a few pounds because I dance like a loon all night long. We’ve had so many great DJs play at the club I can’t think of anyone else I’d like to have play down there. Danny Krivit, Carl Craig and DJ Spinna would be great at some point.

R: Do you have any celebrities frequent the club… any good gossip?

J: We get a few, but I wouldn’t like to say who. In the ethos of the club’s egalitarian policy, everyone who comes down is a celebrity in my eyes.

R: I hear you are a foodie? What are your special recipes?

J: Well I guess being the son of a butcher and an Italian cook I couldn’t not be. I lived in Italy for a year and picked up a few recipes along the way. I can now make an amazing ragu, but I have to start it in the morning and cook it all day. Also I do make a great roast dinner. You can’t do much better than a well hung piece of British beef! I’m all about great British food at the moment and I’m quite into offal.

R: Have you ever eaten horse?

J: I have indeed. Air-cured is my favorite way of eating it, but a good horse steak is gert lush (a little Westcountry expression for you).

R: When can we expect to see some horse meat on the menu in the East Village?

J: Whenever a promoter sticks their neck out and books us - we’ll be there with wigs on!

James Hillard Live at Horse Meat Disco

Queen Samantha - Sweet San Francisco
Lovefingers - Mexico (Barrio Edit)
DC Larue - Cathedrals
Gepy & Gepy - Body to Body
Dennis Parker - Like An Eagle
Andrea True Connection - Party Line
Wilton Street Band - Don’t You Even Know Who You Are
Dolly Parton - I Wanna Fall in Love
Gregg Diamond & Bionic Boogie - Fess Up to the Boogie
K.I.D - Don’t Stop
Gordon’s War - The Rock is Gonna Get You
Lipps Inc - Funkytown
TC Curtis - Body Shake (Instrumental)
The Mike Theodore Orchestra - High On Mad Mountain
Barry Mason - Body, Get Your Body (Faze Action Edit)
Biddu Orchestra - Voodoo Man (Remix)
Sphinx - Collision (1982 Remix)
Vivienne Vee - Give Me A Break
The Beach Boys - Here Comes the Night
Faze Action - Stratus Energy (Disco Mix)
Cerrone - Supernature
Tantra - Hills of Katmandu
Vivienne Vee - Remember
Patrick Cowley and Sylvester - Do You Wanna Funk
Stephanie Mills - You Can Get Over
Baby O - In the Forrest
Wilton Street Band - Disco Lucy
The Richard Hewson Orchestra - What Shall We Do When the Disco’s Over

I first met Patrick Lilley when I was writing a piece on gay ragga clubs for the Observer Music Monthly Magazine in the UK. He was fixing me up with the right people and driving me around London’s beautifully quiet night streets to the best clubs in town. But most importantly, he was filling me in on a whole history of gay clubland through stories, jokes and gossip. As an organiser of events, screenings and festivals, as well as being behind London’s longest-running gay night Queer Nation, he’s been involved in the movings and shakings of the capital for a long time now. Back in the 80s he was a publicist for Divine and Sinead O’Connor and when he went home after a long day’s work or a long night’s parties, it was to an infamous squat he shared with pre-Culture Club Boy George and a host of the city’s underground creatives. This is clearly a man with tales to tell, so read on for a taste of the juice, an epic tale in two parts, and listen to the soundtrack along the way.

Stuart Brumfitt: You had red hair back then?

Patrick Lilley: I had reddy-blonde hair I guess. It’s very difficult to remember what hair was like to be honest. It’s been a while.

SB: When did you start losing your hair?

PL: Going for the jugular there! My mum warned me that I would go bald if I continued to dye my hair every colour every different day and never a truer word was told to me.

SB: Did you dye it every colour under the sun?

PL: Well in the school holidays I’d dye it. In 1977 when I was 17 my mum had a small jewellery factory in the jewellery quarter in Birmingham. I’d go in at the weekend and do the cleaning. While I was there, I dyed my hair David Bowie red. I would go to the kitchen area and do some cleaning and I would stick some bleach on and then some colour. My mum said, “Well you can’t work for me with that colour”, so I went and had to bleach it. I had to go back to boarding school and it was meant to go back to its normal colour. My sister was a hairdresser and we tried to make it go back, but it didn’t. It went a muddy green-brown, which was worse than ever.

SB: So you experimented with your hair when you were on your school? Which school were you at?

PL: I went to a junior seminary called Cotton College I boarded from 11 to 18. They had a reputation for producing conservative bishops.

SB: So you were meant to be heading towards that?

PL: We were poor children who were sent there to have a better education with the help of the local authority and the local priest.

SB: Was there lots of hanky panky in the boarding school?

PL: None whatsoever. I was viciously bullied for being a poof. I remember being 13 and 14 - me and my best friends at school had just got into Bowie at the time. We used to act camp quite deliberately. There were three of us – me, Billy and John Flanagan. We used to do a Dick Emery “Oh you are awful, but I like you” line on each other continuously. Then one day one of them turned round and said, “You’re not pretending.”

SB: Oh shit

PL: You’re not kidding. The shit hit the fan then. And no sooner had that happened and stocks and shares in Patrick Lilley plummeted.

SB: So they were totally straight but were just playing along?

PL: We were all just acting camp. It wasn’t about sex, it was about acting camp. The idea of a practicing homosexual or a practicing heterosexual didn’t exist at this school. There was no sex, just an awful lot of paranoia. And the priests were more paranoid than anybody. (more…)

“I for instance do not lust for scat but I have nothing against shitting in one’s mouth as long as one wants it, I just do not feel like kissing right after.” GERMANS! Basso in New York! All week. Go spend some time with them.